My pregnancy, although high risk, was for the most part uneventful. I would be 40 when I delivered but being healthy and having previous healthy deliveries there was no reason to concern. I had the usual aches & pains that go with pregnancy. I struggled with pregnancy induced asthma too but it was never considered a problem for my baby. Hunter being my 3rd I guess you could say "I'd been there, done that" for many things. I attribute my experience as a mother, aunt and part-time daycare provider to be the main reason why my husband and I noticed something was different so early on.
The first symptom was with eating... yup, eating! Of all things it clearly was not one of the obvious things parents look for or concern with when thinking of autism. Hunter was approximately 4 1/2 months old when eating solids became our biggest battle. It is normal for babies to need a time period to learn how to eat solids, open their mouth, swallow etc. Sometimes it goes perfectly and other times the parents will stop then try again later realizing their little one just wasnt ready yet. Many don't even start solids until 6 months so we knew we were definitely introducing solids a bit early which is why at the time it wasn't overly concerning.
When Hunter was 6 months old we found eating to be quite the battle,it was getting harder, not easier. Sometimes he could open his mouth, other times he couldn't. He struggled with moving the food around in his mouth as well. It is hard to explain and clearly one of those "you need to be there to see it to understand". We ruled out all the things that are typically seen with a baby not eating solids such as not hungry, doesn't like the taste, doesn't like the texture etc etc. It wasn't any of those. He loved the food, liked the texture and clearly showed his desire to eat it but he just couldn't do the motor skill to actually open his mouth to eat it. Hope that makes sense. We also found that if he was in a reclined position and not looking directly at us but distracted by a TV program or other things going on in the rest of the room he was able to eat better and open better. Strange I know... like if he didn't think about it so much or needing to look at us directly he was more able to do it. (we'd later understand this to be part of the social piece). When my mother in law fed him she too noticed the concerns so it validated even more what we were experiencing. He is our third child so we've done this before and his struggles just didn't feel right.
I attribute my pediatrician as the first major break in understanding him. When I went to his 6 month check I mentioned it to his doctor. Instead of telling us that he will catch on eventually or give him time or it is age appropriate he said call Early Intervention and get an evaluation. I've since realized how blessed we are to have been given that advice and that many other doctors may have said the latter.
One of my childcare kids was in Early Intervention so I did have some experience in what that meant. I took the pamphlet he gave me and put it aside for the time being. I agreed that he needed to get checked but I still had some level of doubt. I felt that maybe, just maybe, he was just a slow learner. Coming to terms and realizing that something could be wrong with your baby is very hard. So we continued with our struggle for another month, sometimes stopping solids all together and just giving him his formula because it was to frustrating on us all.
When Hunter was 8 months I was asked to care for a friends daughter who was a month older then Hunter. Sweet little thing came and spent an entire day with us :) When it was time for lunch I sat down and fed her. My heart sank :( It was SO easy to feed her, the struggles I viewed as somewhat mild in my son were now viewed as major. Seeing how well she did only validated our concerns and that Hunter was definately struggling and it wasn't normal and I needed to make that phone call to Early Intervention.
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